Sorry - zoo of a week last week - I left off with the post surgery last time - one breast down and one rather lumpy replacement. And a ton of healing to do - both in mind, body and in spirit. There is something rather depressing about loosing one's breast. I mean you spend your whole teen years trying desperately to have breasts and then with a single knife swish it's gone. Stinks. I was so tied up in the surgery and treatment that the depression about this didn't come on for quite a while after everything was done. But for right now I had a ton of support dealing with the hear and now - not only from family and friends but from a rather odd source - an online bulletin posting board.
The medical provider I had at that time was Kaiser and they were experimenting with online support in the form of posting board. So after the Doctor and several nurses suggested it, I joined one. There were only 3 other people on that board at that time and they saved my life. One was the Nurse (just to make sure we weren't giving each other bad information), one was a 15 year survivor and one was just ahead of me in treatments. They kept cheering me on from the side and were there when things didn't go exactly as planned. Their advice and help through everything made the journey much easier. I LOVED them!
My healing did not go exactly as planned. The drainage tubes were taken out too soon and so my wound weeped. It was a nasty mess and ended with part of the skin on my tummy where the breast was taken from turning black and having to be removed. All generally yucky. I did make the joke on the posting board about the new caterpillar that had taken up residence on my tummy (it was the stitches sticking out after they had remove the black skin). Finally by the first of May all healed and my name was put before the Tumor Board.
The Tumor Board is a group of Oncologist that meet to discuss your continued treatment. This is where the results of my biopsy that took so long came into play - apparently I had a HER2 positive cancer. This is a genetic mutation that make simple cancers way more aggressive (25% more increase in a recurrence) and the board was at a loss at to what to do with me. They should have been shaking my hand and wishing me a happy cancer free life but this little flaw in my cancer had gummed up the works. So it was off to UCSF.
I was sent with all my paperwork up to University of California at San Francisco and their world renowned cancer center. I met with a Dr. Tripathy, who was the best of the best on breast cancer, and he explained to me about the HER2 factor. The final decision was Chemo and then 5 years of Tamoxifen. Time to go shopping for hats :) Love shopping for hats. Sorry I digress.
Chemo started in mid May with the first of 4 treatments. My wonderful friends drove me to the treatments and kept me from driving by the hospital (the zoo was just a bit farther and was looking better and better all the time). Please don't think that my Husband wasn't there every step of the way but he worked commission so to keep eating he absolutely had to keep working. That's where my friends took over.
Chemo is an unknown for everyone - they have lots of wonderful drugs that usually help with the nausea so that all that you feel is tired. The key word here is usually. I made it home, had dinner, put the kids to bed and then starting throwing up. My poor husband, Jeffery, just held me between bouts. Usually when you throw up it is because your tummy is sick - with chemo what's making you sick is in your blood and no amount of throwing up will help. But your body doesn't understand that so hanging over the toilet or sink is how I spent my first few days after a treatment. Toward the last treatments they just heavily medicated me so that I would sleep through the first week after treatments.
One week after the treatment my head starting developing small pimple like spots. My hair was trying to fall out but also growing and I was getting small zit like lesions on my head. The Oncologist was called and the suggestion (strong suggestion) was to shave my head but not to the skin but just to a 1/4 inch all over so I could treat the spots. When you are on chemo you don't heal easily or fight off disease so they always freak out when something that might even suggest the possibility of infection occurs. So I disappeared into the bathroom with the razor that I used to cut my husband and son's hair and exited with a new doo. Unfortunately my hair started falling out in earnest about a week later and it was a mess. I don't know what women do who don't shave their head because even with my uber short hair it itched and was everywhere.
Next time - the space between :) Link Here :) Part 4
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